Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”
Luke 9:23-24
This morning I woke up (against my greater desire to sleep). I opened the window and let the breeze play against my face for a few moments. I thought about all the things I wanted to do today. I thought about getting a cup of coffee, taking a walk, reading a little… What I didn’t think about was how I was going to die to myself today.
Then I heard this song come up on my morning playlist called “Learning How to Die.” I’d never really liked the song- honestly I don’t think I’d listened to it very closely. I thought it was about a terminally ill person coming to face with their death. Really, it’s about the conscious act of learning to die.
I spend so much of my energy learning how to live better. I think of all the ways to make life better for myself. I research recipes for my enjoyment, I go shopping by myself, I read trashy fiction novels to make me happy, I spend two hours watching a silly tv show on netflix. My life is spent on me learning how to have the most pleasure in this life.
What if that isn’t the point of living at all? What if the point of living is dying?
Jesus calls us to take up our cross daily. God turns life on it’s head all the time. He says the opposite of what we expect him to say. Here he asks us to give up all that we can say is ours. It seems crazy because it is, but it is a beautiful crazy.
So today, God, help me to die. Teach me what it means to let my life go and live through yours.
She said, “Friend,
All along I thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really I’ve been learning how to die
I’ve been learning how to die”
