Learning How to Die

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”
Luke 9:23-24

This morning I woke up (against my greater desire to sleep). I opened the window and let the breeze play against my face for a few moments. I thought about all the things I wanted to do today. I thought about getting a cup of coffee, taking a walk, reading a little… What I didn’t think about was how I was going to die to myself today.

Then I heard this song come up on my morning playlist called “Learning How to Die.” I’d never really liked the song- honestly I don’t think I’d listened to it very closely. I thought it was about a terminally ill person coming to face with their death. Really, it’s about the conscious act of learning to die.

I spend so much of my energy learning how to live better. I think of all the ways to make life better for myself. I research recipes for my enjoyment, I go shopping by myself, I read trashy fiction novels to make me happy, I spend two hours watching a silly tv show on netflix. My life is spent on me learning how to have the most pleasure in this life.

What if that isn’t the point of living at all? What if the point of living is dying?

Jesus calls us to take up our cross daily. God turns life on it’s head all the time. He says the opposite of what we expect him to say. Here he asks us to give up all that we can say is ours. It seems crazy because it is, but it is a beautiful crazy.

So today, God, help me to die. Teach me what it means to let my life go and live through yours.

She said, “Friend,
All along I thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really I’ve been learning how to die
I’ve been learning how to die”

Seattle’s Great Awakening: A Story of the Precious Appearance of the Sun

Saturday morning was wonderful in its own right, as all Saturdays are, but what made this Saturday even more magical was what awoke with me. It was the SUN!

Seattle has been suffering through a typically cloudy and dreary winter, but this year it feels like it has lasted much longer than winter should. So when my eyes fluttered open and I beheld a perfectly warm beam of sunshine streaming through the window onto my sheets, I was filled with joy. Yes, joy.

I knew I had to do something memorable with the day. I had an engagement that morning, but after that I was free to do whatever I wanted.

So I donned my cutest skirt, threw on a light cardigan and some flats, and headed up Queen Anne Ave. What I found was quite a sensation.

Seattle is a pretty social place, but I have never seen so many people walking, talking, smiling, laughing. You had your typical joggers who would have been out if it were 30 degrees and sopping wet, but there were also moms, dads, kids, friends, old people and young. And don’t even get me started on the dogs! There were more dogs out than at the American Kennel Club!

I walked along the gorgeous Highland Ave. The only thing more beautiful than the houses on that street are the views. On one side you behold the city it all its man-made splendor. Walk four minutes and reach Marshall Park where you behold the Olympic mountains and Puget Sound in all their God-made splendor.

I ended my day with a good old baseball game. Perched in the left field bleachers I had the perfect position to soak up whatever the sun would give me before she went to sleep.

Seattle comes alive when the sun is out. It is an odd sensation that makes me smile. It makes me thank God for the clouds. The city and its inhabitants would not bloom so beautifully if we had sun and 68 degrees every day. The scarcest things are the most precious because of their very scarcity. God has a reason for everything he ordains, even the Seattle clouds…

Slow me down, Lord!

Life gets crazy. Is it just me, or is America obsessed with busyness? We admire those who are accomplishing most. The fastest, the brightest, the best. A dear friend and I write to each other every week. A few weeks ago she sensed my chaotic heart and enclosed this poem by Wilfred A. Peterson, entitled “Slow Me Down, Lord.”

Slow me down, Lord!
Ease the pounding of my heart
By the quieting of my mind.
Steady my harried pace
With a vision of the eternal reach of time.

…

Help me to know
The magical power of sleep,
Teach me the art
Of taking minute vacations
Of slowing down
To look at a flower;
To chat with an old friend
Or make a new one;
To pat a stray dog;
To watch a spider build a web;
To smile at a child;
Or to read a few good lines from a
Good book.

Remind me each day
That the race is not always to the swift,
That there is more to life
Than increasing its speed.

Let me look upward
Into the branches of the towering oak
And know that it grew great and strong
Because it grew slowly and well.

Slow me down, Lord,
And inspire me to send my roots deep
Into the sail of life’s enduring values
That I may grow towards the stars
Of my greater destiny.

Isn’t that just wonderful? My greater destiny. Lord, you have a greater destiny for me than anything I could hope for. Help me to have th faith to follow without fear.
Please comment if you’d like!

Walk Slowly

Today I was about my normal busy-ness:

Rushing to my 8am class,
rushing to run an errand,
rushing back to class,
rushing across campus to my other class,
rushing to lunch…

Next on the to-do list:
rush to my dorm and get something- anything done.

As I was swiftly leaping up the steps from the cafeteria to my dorm, I realized I was taking the steps three at a time.
WHY? I asked myself.

There is no reason in the world why you should be rushing right now, Olivia. You have an hour and fifteen minutes before you need to leave for work.

So I listened to that little voice in my heart and I slowed down.

How did it feel? Amazing, liberating, delicious!

I thought my quiet times with the Lord only happened in the still of the morning when I have my Bible and journal in front of me. I was wrong! I felt so at peace, and even though I wasn’t saying anything to God, I felt like my heart was. Simply by sauntering slowly up the stairs, pacing across the street, and carefully climbing each stair up to my room I felt different. I could breathe- full deep breaths. I felt my body relax into a new calming rhythm.

Now I’m not trying to get all zen on you, but don’t be sucked into the lie that tells you that YOU have to do it ALL. Make space to do something that isn’t on your daily to-do list. The Lord will use these times when you recklessly abandon the world’s expectations of you.